Moment In Time

I like the fact that our country is poised for a change in administration. Far too long have we been stuck in a time warp. Please..don’t try to convince me that a country under 40 plus year rule by the same party is for the better. For anyone to preach all the ’security, stability’ high fallutin mambo-jumbo to me will not find an agreeable listener in me. In fact, I see it as sheer complacency and stupidity on the rakyat’s part.

What security and stability is our soon-to-be-kicked government talking about? Everything is sky-rocketing, from the crime rates, to inflation, to petrol hikes, to over-development, to racial discords, to the feet-in-mouth politicians that bring shame and disrepute to our august administrative bodies. And that includes our famous homegrown space passenger who gets to do God-knows-what at our expense. Oh, by the way, Malaysians have forked out a lot of money for him and where is the anticipated report on the high-tech experiments again? 

Forget the damned, the beaten and forgotten many. The only security and stability available in Malaysia now are for a select few i.e. those in power and their mansion-full of cronies and families. As citizens of this country, we should stand together and say “Enough”. Fine, there might be some of us (for reasons best known to them) who still cling out of blindness (or sheer ignorance) to the present government. But to these people, I have a few questions to be addressed-

Don’t you feel the pain of the declining standard of living among us?

Don’t  you see how corruption is prevalent among the very people and institutions that swore to uphold the Rule of Law and ensure our security?

Don’t you hear the cries of families who have their relatives taken away for no reason and chucked somewhere under the draconian ISA?

Don’t you smell the public distaste at our pathetic (and some say, idiotic) leaders who struggle to stay on despite winning narrowly or losing big time in the recent elections?

Don’t you sense that perhaps now is the time to finally change our country’s future? 

While I am all for the transition, I do not expect much. To me, the most important thing is for citizens to have the right to choose. And now, we (well,most of us) choose to have a new government. Personally,  I’ll choose a new government with all the uncertainties rather than being stuck with the present government who feeds us with certainties of crap and demand that we swallow them. And we did swallow them for a very long 40 plus years.

I like to think that in the  near future, our citizens will have the rationality and intelligence to make their votes really count come every general election. Be like America, UK and other real developed and developing countries. For them, once the present government is not performing up to their standard, it’s adieu and hello new leadership. Their countries are alive and kicking, correct? We don’t see them kneeling over and dropping dead just because the Conservatives may win (for Britain) and Democrats may lose (for USA) in their next election.

Has the above scenario happened to us? Read our newspapers and history books and you’ll find zilch. Despite tragedies, breaches of trust, failed policies, scandals, Olympic’s dismal performance (I just have to add this in. We spent so much, sent so many athletes, hired so many foreign coaches, built sports buildings here and abroad, for a grand total of one silver? Forget Harimau Malaya. Kucing yang tak bertaring, tua dan sakit is more appropriate here) and wanton disregard of our Constitution and laws, those in power remain in power. Oh okay, there were notable exceptions in the form of Datuk Chua Soi Lek and Datuk Zaid Ibrahim. But apart from them, how many Malaysian ministers have resigned? We could probably use one hand to count with extra fingers to spare.

I am a Malaysian and I love my King and country. I’ve long understood that the country remains while politicians (and their respective governments) come and go. However, I fear that most of us are still wearing blinkers and oblivious to the looming danger should we remain politically mute and dumb.

I pray that the change, for better or worse, takes place within these few days. That way, I may just have a Malaysia to hold dear in the long run.

P/S: For the record, I am not a member of any political party or affiliated to any politician. What I am interested in, and always has been, are the causes that these politicians stand for. I want leaders who not only know Abraham Lincoln’s famous quote “The Government is by the people FOR the people” but incorporate the belief in their leadership as well.

I know i have not been blogging since May. And it is now August. You do the maths and I’ll blog a catching-up entry here.

Few major events happened.

My youngest sister is now already in her second month in South Korea. I think I’ve told a few about her but just in case you missed out, she’s in Korea on a korean government scholarship. For the next five years. I know Korea is not really a favoured academic destination as compared to the usual suspects but hey, who’s gonna give you free money? If we are to wait for the Malaysian Government, it’s the same as waiting for the day pigs fly! Suffice to say, she’s learning  the korean language for her first year. And because of my sister, I got to go Korea too=) Well, the trip cum holiday was from 26 June-1 July 2008. Sigh..6 days were far too short. I didn’t really hit the tourist spots as our main purpose (mum and I) was to help my sis settle down. But that’s okay. I could see many more trips to Incheon in the near future=)

Life begins and ends. That would describe my two male cousins of the same age. While one cousin is going to get hitched, another suddenly collapsed and died. While I am not particularly happy with the former (dun ask why), I was particularly moved with the latter. Somehow, the death of a young man yet to enter the prime of his life is devastating. He has just started working and did not even live to receive his first paycheck. As his body was lying in the family hall surrounded by family members, there was a sense of disbelief. Memories during our childhood would flash by. I remember him as a quiet boy, always content to be in the background while his noisier cousins take centre stage. That day, my father and uncles came together to bury their nephew. And for the first time, I saw these men with tears streaming down their cheeks.

*Kindly spare a prayer for my cousin, the late Syed Mohd Noor. May his soul rests among the faithfuls.

Have you come across a person eating alone at a table meant for four?

And what do you think of such people?

Frankly, I’m sick of their attitude. They’re a bunch of selfish idiots.

You see, my morning routine would be to have breakfast at this particular shop with my mum and sister. Clearly, there are nearby mamak restaurants available but as the food is great (though limited in choice) and at an affordable price to boot, we chose to remain as their customers.

And judging from the number of regulars, others think the same way too. However, the only dampener in my morning routine (apart from the nightmarish traffic, which is worthy of an entry of its own) is the daily sight of one particular man.

He would be eating alone at a table meant for four, completely oblivious to the fact that there are plenty of tables meant for two. So there he goes, taking his own sweet time in finishing his roti canai and a glass of teh tarik. Some days, you can even see him being lost in his own world. In the meantime, those with company or family members (including yours truly) would have to squeeze ourselves at tables which obviously are only meant for two.

Even my mother and sister noted that I will wear this certain expression whenever I catch a glimpse of that idiot. And yes, without fail, I will mutter curses (which I hope, will strike the man one day)! Worse, if he’s not around, there will always be another idiot to replace him. It’s a miracle seeing the never-ending supply of idiots available.

Well, tomorrow will be my sister’s last day at work as a temporary RA. And with her gone, mum and I can go to other breakfast joints and be spared from the presence of such idiots. At the very least, I can start my day with a peace of mind.

I do not know if I’ll be having brickbats thrown my way for saying this but I’ll spit it out anyway.

I possess total, if not the greatest respect for Muslim women who faithfully cover their hair in accordance with the teachings of Islam i.e. ‘menutup aurat’. It is really a strength of conviction for one’s faith and a personal commitment, a feat which I hope I’m able to emulate in the future. 

As of now, I have to admit that I am not ready to wear a tudung. Seriously, I do not know when. Perhaps it stems from vanity issues. But as many of you would realise by now, I have been asked ‘why are you not wearing a tudung?’ question far too often. Well, I could easily answer your question by donning the headscarf the next day but that’s not the point. Instead, I am always of the view that wearing a tudung is more than simply covering my hair. It is a signal to those around me that I’m on my way to becoming a more devout faithful. Covering my hair represents the detachment of my soul from the negative ways and influences of the world. In other words, when I wear the tudung, it is a beginning of the act of purification in preparing for the afterlife.

Yet, more often than not, I see that most of us were merely taught that once you’ve reached a certain age, you must wear a tudung. Enough said. Nevermind the actual underlying reason behind wearing a tudung. By this time, those not wearing the tudung (like moi) are deemed (doomed or condemned) to be not religious enough or in a more fanciful way, a secularist or liberal.

However, I view those wearing a tudung as diplomats of the faith and as such, owe a big responsibility to their fellow brethren. Wearing a tudung ought to mean that you should take better care on your dressing, on how you behave and seen in public. Simply put (although it might be wrong), a person wearing a tudung must see herself as being placed on a higher pedestal of moral and conduct.

It is pointless to conscientiously cover your hair and yet, leave other parts of your body exposed for the world to see. Believe me, I’m disgusted whenever I see a person wearing a tudung and at the same time, wearing tops that will not leave the rest of us guessing the colour (or size) of your bra, pants that scream VPL (for those not in the know, visible panty lines) or see-through baju kurung fit for a peek-a-boo. Worse, I’ve seen demure looking girls wearing the tudung and yet, be spotted hugging and canoodling a member of the opposite sex without any wedding ring in sight.

Then, there is also the case of treating the tudung as a ‘Chipsmore’ accessory. Sekejap ada, sekejap tak ada. I do not agree to the concept that one wears the tudung to work (or school) and takes it off when it comes to socialising. Neither do I agree to wearing the tudung on alternate days as a compromise. Either way, it demeans the purpose of the tudung. To me, it is simple. Once you’ve worn the tudung, it stays with you for life.   

By this time, you must be thinking, ‘why the hell is a person who wears dresses, skirts and sleeveless tops talk about such issues?’. Perhaps you’ve got a point there. However, I also do not belong to the kind of tudung-clad people who bring disrepute and embarassment to those who wear the tudung purely by reason of their faith in the teachings.

If that is indeed the case, I’ll hang on to my skirts and dresses for now.      

Having read my previous posts, I can conclude the following;

I’m a lazy person when it comes to blogging. Count the entries since I first started blogging and you’ll see;

while my life is not exactly ‘The Simple Life’, it ain’t Paris Hilton either;

even when my life has its interesting or exciting moments (rarely), I hesitate to blog about them. Why? Because being a reserved person, I do not really like the idea of blaring everything which are personal to me;

thus, I tend to write about random stuff, events and people around me without actually disclosing anything. Okay, so there was an exception when I ranted out my frustrations. But for that entry, I think it was excusable. It was either I blog or I pay to see a shrink. Obviously, the former is the cheaper choice;

and most importantly,

I do not know who reads my blog (apart from the very few whom I’ve identified). So, it goes without saying that what I write may attract comments that will probably circulate (depending on the type of reader) and reach my ears in a gossipy manner.

So why am I writing all these stuff?

Boredom.

I am a female.

I am a Malay.

And I have never been a smoker.

***

This afternoon, a long-ago acquaintance suddenly called me up. The conversation went something along these lines;

X: Hey Raja!

Me: Hey X. What’s up?

X: Wondering whether you’re up for a survey tomorrow? It pays great bucks and I 
    thought of you.

Me: (Really happy mood) Sure! How much does it pay?
       *not at all bothered by the type of survey*

X: 100 bucks.

Me: Okay. Is there anything I need to do before the survey?

X: Nah…just bring your cigarettes.

Me: *dumbfounded* hah? cigarettes?

X: Of course. They wanted a malay female who smokes. Naturally, you came to mind.

Me: Erm…I’ve never smoked before..

***
I need not include the rest of the conversation but what X said left me bewildered.

Do I give people the impression that I smoke?

Just for the record, I do not smoke.
I may know certain cigarette brands and at times, inhale smoke from smokers around me but that’s the full extent of my love affair with the cigarettes.
Hopefully.

Who knows, there might be people praying for the day they see me light a ciggie between my fingers.

I know I am a bad writer but I’m worse as a photographer and a hopeless person when it comes to uploading photos on friendster.

On that note, perhaps I should remind myself that judging by the rate of pictures taken but yet to be developed, I will definitely go broke at the photo shop.

Anyway, enough with my ramblings. My sister has kindly taken pictures during my recent Long Call (and many other events as well e.g.  family trips and my Convocation. She’s a good photographer so if anyone’s interested to hire her to take photos for special events, feel free to call me. Charges are reasonable and negotiable! Well, a lil bit of advertisement never harm anyone!) and thanks to her (and her blog), there are a few pictures of my Call uploaded on the Net.

So, if you have nothing better to do, do check out her blog site at:

http://rajasyazwina.blogs.friendster.com/shashin_ippai/2008/04/the_long_call_p.html

However, please be reminded that the pictures are solely for viewing purposes and not to be reproduced, stored, recorded, printed, disseminated, transmitted or transferred by any means or devices without obtaining prior permission in writing from my sister or myself.

With that reminder in place, happy viewing!

This entry is not about me hollering about being admitted to the Malaysian Bar on April 24th, 2008. Neither is it about publicising my name (which, btw, is quite long) getting even longer with the whole ‘Advocate and Solicitor of the High Court of Malaya) trailing behind. Nor is it about me squealing about how I finally get to wear the black robe complete with the bib (which does, in many ways than one, make me think that I’m either related to the penguins or better dressed hobbits).

This entry is, however, meant to record, among other things, my observations of the day.

1. One would appreciate the attendance of family members and friends. In this respect, my thanks to abah, mama, my two sisters; and my closest bunch of friends; akmar, sya, bee and rehan who took the time off their busy exam schedules to share the day with me; and last but not least, nick and ariel who came despite having to settle earlier work matters. Thank you so much.

2. Such proceedings are much better off without toddlers in attendance. A fellow petitioner brought her children into the courtroom. No doubt, she wanted to share the special day with her children but didn’t anyone tell her that it ain’t gonna happen? Toddlers are toddlers and to them, the swinging wooden door separating the public gallery from the Bar tables are far more interesting than a Long Call. Never mind that the judge was already presiding the session. Toddlers scream when they want to scream without having a care for the world. The petitioner should have known better. After all, having spent 9 months doing pupillage, the most basic thing one can learn is to remain silent while in court!

3. Ah, but the very same petitioner perhaps didn’t understand the basic requirement of being silent while attending court. After her toddlers were finally asked to leave the courtroom by the policewoman, the mother took it upon herself to chat with another clueless petitioner. So these two jokers who were sitting next to me, chatted like nobody’s business. I had to nudge the petitioner next to me because there was a point when they were talking rather loud and a lawyer moving the call had to shush them up. I was really embarrased just by sitting next to them!

4. Just because my own speech was short, that doesn’t mean that others will follow suit. I was number 11 out of 13 petitioners. That translated to me having to listen to 10 earlier speeches. Except for two speeches which I appreciated for its brevity and humour, the rest was nerve-wrecking! The whole family introduction part e.g. ‘A is the son/daughter of X & Y who work as bla bla bla’ was acceptable given the memorable occasion for the entire family. But when the speeches zoomed into the ‘bila berputiknya bibit-bibit percintaan terhadap undang-undang..’, I had to restrain myself from ROFL. It might sound mean of me but please, this is not exactly a Romeo-&-Juliet moment okay. No one is interested to know how the law and your life became intertwined.

5. I was further flabbergasted when most of them listed down every single activity that they participated in since kindy days! Probably they participated in many activities but will it hurt to be selective? Maybe I am being bitchy but if I’m to put every single activity that I was involved in, the audience will be throwing rotten tomatoes to my Mover out of sheer desperation. On my part, I had to listen to a petitioner who said that she represented her university in a local moot and helped organise another local moot. Strangely enough, she wasn’t exactly listening when my Mover rattled on the international moot competitions I’ve participated in. Alright, that was mean of me but the point is this. It is pretty silly when one brags (for a long period) about their ‘achievements’ only to pale in comparison to others’.

6. Forgive me as I’m still on the speeches. Another thing that really took all my strength from bursting out laughing (despite my sleepiness) was the fact that most of the petitioners (except for the three of us, yours truly included) had the audacity to claim themselves as ‘cemerlang this’ and ‘cemerlang that’. Perhaps I do not know how to blow one’s trumpet but seriously, think about it. Is it not better for others to recognise our excellence or intelligence themselves rather than us pushing down their throats of our so-called excellence? Well, just my two cents worth for thought..

7. Finally, thank you to my Master who came despite almost not being able to come, no thanks to a last minute car problem! My mover was already suggesting to me that if my Master was not in court during my Call, he will do the robe thingy. Luckily, everything went well and as a proper ending to my pupillage, I was robed by my Master.

To mark my Call, I went for lunch with my family members, my Master and colleagues from my firm. We went to Zakuro Japanese Restaurant in Mont’ Kiara (I was asked to choose the venue and strangely enough, I chose Japanese cuisine. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I ended my uni days with a Japanese holiday and fittingly enough, begin my proper working life with Japanese cuisine!) Okay, that was lame but whattheheck=) Cheers!!

Was at carrefour this morning with dad. On the way to Di Naina for impromptu lunch, heard a conversation between two guys walking behind us. Can’t really remember what they were saying but the following really left me cracked up;

Guy A: Dude, we’re best friends and all but i have to say this. If I have a daughter, I will not let her be close to you even if you’re my best friend.

Guy B: And why is that? I’m cool to hang out with.

Guy A: You’re cool to hang out with..if i have a son. But my daughter? You’re a player la! But don’t worry. If you have a daughter, she’ll be safe with me!

Guy B: **%#@#^$%&^*&**

you’ll never the know the gems that might appear from conversations around you. but for the record, i was not eavesdropping okay!

In case you’re reading this and feel that it’s addressed to you, you’re right. Rest assured that there will be many more who may share the same thoughts. And it is not necessarily addressed to one individual.

1st - I don’t like you. Have never liked you and never will. In fact, I find your attention revolting, to say the very least. You may see it as a form of affection. God knows what goes around in that delusional twisted mind of yours. To me, it is unwanted harassment. My stomach turns at the sight of you. Perhaps you did not get it all this while but hey, other people got the drift. Don’t you understand that the unanswered smses, calls, cancelling meets are some signs that I do not want to have anything to do with you? Leave me and my life alone. And stop pretending as if we’re the best of friends or anything else coz we NEVER were. You may have imagined it but pal, friendship is a two-way street. And I’m not in it.

2nd - My life is not a tv serial. I will not post episodes’ synopsis (if any) for everyone to know. If we have not been in touch for some time, there must be a reason. And whatever that reason is, you should think thrice (or more) before asking me to update you with specific developments in my life. You should know that I’m one reserved person. What makes you think that you’re special enough to even request for updates? The very fact that you asked in the first place only managed to make me resent you further. And if you know me well, resentment sticks for a long time.

3rd - You may think that the event is a joke. However, if you’re in my position, jokes will be the last thing on your mind. Worse, you may think that by imitating tones or gestures, it will make you funny. As if! Read my lips or rather, my words. It has never been funny and I’m the last person who will laugh at your antics. The joke has gone too far and I’m hell sick of it. If you’re the kind to think that my affliction is something to be joked about, I do not need you as a friend. Go and be a stand-up comedian if you want. One thing’s for sure. You will not see me among the audience, laughing their asses off because unlike them, I know the real you. And a person who jokes about their friends’ predicament is not a friend at all.

4th - I will not apologise for the things I’ve written. Personally, I wanted to use every single expletive known to man to make my point(s). God knows I have stomached a lot of crap all along and it’s time for me to say ‘Damn it! Will you just f***ing listen for once?’ If you’re not listening still, then show yourself the way out. The show has ended. And I do not need a bunch of screwed-up people eagerly awaiting for a sequel as another entertainment for them. During these times, I found out that there was only a handful which I can rely upon and most importantly, understood my situation. They’re my friends. You are not. In fact, drop dead and book a one-way ticket to hell. I’ll clap and even sing for you. That’s a promise.

*The writer is seriously contemplating on life’s choices right now. She doesn’t want to be disturbed so do not bother to call, sms or use any form of communication to contact her.